Presence and Pleasure
Did you know that our nervous system and brains are predisposed to focus on stress? For thousands of years, the ability of our nervous system to perceive and react to stress in the form of life-threatening situations has helped humans survive and thrive as a species.
The parts of our brain (our reptilian brain and limbic system) that manage this function even change the strength and emotional content of memories in order to make it easier for us to respond to similar events more quickly and effectively in the future. Our bodies are able to react quickly, without thinking, so we can avoid or get ourselves out of danger. This ability of our brain, which could also be described as our "stress response" is amazing and necessary.
Sometimes we can’t fully process our stress. If we are already carrying chronic stress from personal, systemic or global events, we can feel like it’s just too much. We don’t have room to process additional stress when something impactful happens. Or we might be fatigued from long hours or a recent illness and we don’t have the energy or capacity to fully process a stressful event. When this happens, the stress can stay held in our bodies and take the form of tension, pain, chronic fatigue, anxiety, behaviour patterns, relationship challenges and a host of other forms. It’s important to find ways to empower transformation and healing if you notice unprocessed stress getting in the way of your well-being. In my experience, there’s no one right way to do this, no one miracle cure that fits everyone. In my own healing, it’s been a process of discovering numerous therapies, healing modalities and practices, like a “secret sauce” recipe that tastes exactly right only to me.
Sometimes this bias towards stress can make us feel pretty crappy if our nervous system starts to hijack our focus from a present moment that isn't life-threatening. The present moment I’m in might have the potential to be quite pleasant or even incredibly pleasurable. For example, I've had this experience when I'm having a massage during a really stressful period of my life. I arrive at my appointment stressed and can't relax fully. I've even noticed my thoughts occasionally joining in to reinforce the stress by criticizing me for not being able to relax and let go. Or I've gone for a walk outside while I'm thinking about a situation that makes me feel angry. I don't notice birds singing, or have the ability to take in the beauty of a sunset. Both the massage and the walk have the potential to be really pleasant and nourishing experiences, but my brain is more focused on the past stressor. The massage and walk are perceived through the filter of my past stressful experiences, not from my present moment awareness.
Lately, I've taken to a practice of noticing what's pleasurable, delightful, delicious, comfortable, or even just ok in the present moment. I've found there's always something. Like I can breathe and take in the aroma of something pleasant like a cup of coffee, a lemon or fresh air. Or I can take my shoes off and feel the ground under my feet. Or I can watch my dog being happy for no reason. Or I can pause to sense a place that feels ok inside like my little toe or my earlobe. Or hear the sounds of birds in the morning.
At first, it took effort to engage in this practice. After all, our brains are designed to prioritize noticing and remembering threats to our survival (aka stressful and unpleasant events). I'd forget to notice the beauty around me, to reach for pleasure, or feel a bit annoyed at times when there were "more important things to do" than stop and enjoy. In the past, I would feel guilty about indulging myself when others are suffering. It's curious to me how much I resisted the experience of ok-ness or pleasure. Over time, this practice has become part of the flow of my day. It's been transformative to open my awareness to the small, simple, everyday miracles that are available to awaken my senses, soothe my nervous system, and begin to restore my sense of goodness and well-being.
